Kirstie Alley Petitions Court For Schiavo Feeding Tube

WASHINGTON--As news circulated on Friday that doctors had successfully removed the feeding tube that has kept Terri Schiavo alive for the past 15 years, "Fat Actress" Kirstie Alley petitioned Circuit Judge George Greer to have the tube inserted into her own Oreo-bloated body.

"If she doesn't want it, I'll take it," said Alley. "Frankly, it seemed like the only way to save me from the indignity of chewing."