Credit Card Industry, Religious Right Sponsor Bankruptcy Amendment to Bible

WASHINGTON--In a partnership of piety and profiteering, the credit card industry and the religious right have joined forces to sponsor an amendment to the bible that would make it harder for consumers to declare bankruptcy and easier for creditors to claim repayment of debts well into the afterlife.

The amendment would require that consumers provide God with a clean credit report from an authorized reporting agency in order to enjoy everlasting peace.

"People would like to think that they can escape their debts by dying," said Sen. Charles Grassle, R-Iowa, the amendment's primary author. "It's time we closed this loophole. God may forgive sins, but he doesn't forgive debts, at least not anymore. This amendment ensures that unscrupulous debtors are forced to replay their debts, even if it means working a minimum wage job in heaven. After all, some one is going to have to park the cars and clean the toilets in rich man's heaven."

The amendment does provide special exemptions for select organizations such as the airline industry, the petroleum industry, Republican campaign organizers, Halliburton and Dick Cheney's alchemy club.