Bush to Threaten Iran with Scowls in State of the Union
WASHINGTON--As President Bush prepares to deliver his State of the Union Address on Wednesday evening, administration officials have warned that he will set aside the fiery rhetoric of past speeches in favor of a series of smirks, pouts and scowls aimed squarely at the leaders of Iran's theocracy.
"I have seen the President rehearse his speech. I've seen the scowls. All I can say is, I wouldn't want to be in Tehran tomorrow night," said White House spokesperson Scott McClellan.
In past addresses, the President has referred to Iran as being part of the "Axis of Evil," and as "Iran-apotemia," which was later clarified to simply mean Iran.
While the President's word choices have strained already tense relationships with the Iranian government, they have done little to curb the country's clandestine nuclear program. As a result, the administration has changed its tactics.
"The President has been exercising with gob stoppers and filling his cheeks with Big League Chew for weeks," said McClellan. "He is loose. He is limber. And he is ready to glower."
Iranian officials responded to news of the impending facial melee by threatening retaliatory action.
"If Bush thinks that we are just going to sit back and endure a frowning, he'd better think again," said Iranian Vice President Gholamreza Aghazadeh. "We are more than capable of firing back with a nuclear arsenal, oops, I mean, facial retort, that the West has never seen."
"I have seen the President rehearse his speech. I've seen the scowls. All I can say is, I wouldn't want to be in Tehran tomorrow night," said White House spokesperson Scott McClellan.
In past addresses, the President has referred to Iran as being part of the "Axis of Evil," and as "Iran-apotemia," which was later clarified to simply mean Iran.
While the President's word choices have strained already tense relationships with the Iranian government, they have done little to curb the country's clandestine nuclear program. As a result, the administration has changed its tactics.
"The President has been exercising with gob stoppers and filling his cheeks with Big League Chew for weeks," said McClellan. "He is loose. He is limber. And he is ready to glower."
Iranian officials responded to news of the impending facial melee by threatening retaliatory action.
"If Bush thinks that we are just going to sit back and endure a frowning, he'd better think again," said Iranian Vice President Gholamreza Aghazadeh. "We are more than capable of firing back with a nuclear arsenal, oops, I mean, facial retort, that the West has never seen."
posted by Foebia at 2:25 PM
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