Californians Celebrate Inauguration by Inducing Earthquake

SAN FRANCISCO--California Democrats marked President Bush's swearing in for a second term on Thursday by gathering with shovels, pick axes, mining drills and spoons along the San Andreas Fault. The goal, said dig organizers, was to induce a massive earthquake that would cause the California Coast to drift off into the Pacific Ocean.

"For years we tried to prevent 'The Big One' from plunging us into the abyss," said Democrat Jay Murch. "But now, that doesn't sound so bad. I mean, come on. A second term? Are you kidding me?"

In a rare expression of bipartisan unity, Republicans from neighboring states joined in the event.

"It's nice when we can find common ground to agree upon," said Rusty Plankford, a Nevada resident. "And I think that we can all agree that the California experiment hasn't worked, so let's just let them float off to build their heathen utopia."